Disclaimer: This is a humorously exaggerated write-up, written in order to vent out the years of repressed anger against braces.
Those of you who have never had braces, you have no idea how fortunate your teenage life is. If you still cannot figure out how, ask those who have been dealing with these silver or platinum-coloured shackles stuffed in their mouths for years, biting every single bit of their gums and making them sore with ulcers. Unlike everything else that has both pros and cons, braces have just one side. And we don't really need to mention which one that is, do we?
The Trial Begins
You have run out of luck and the D-day has arrived. Your mouth is opened wide, and braces are stuck inside using hot glue. Your gums burn, but not before bonding cement that tastes like rotten clay is stuffed into your mouth. And this, my friends, is just the beginning of your protracted trial. Just sit back and watch.
Sentenced for Two Years
With braces in place, you might think that the ordeal is over. But that is as far from the truth as we are from Pluto. Braces mean dental appointments every month for the next two years, and if you are rather unlucky, even twice a month. These dreaded visits to the dentist entail subjecting the poor brace-bearing boy to horrendous torture, better explained as pulling teeth in every direction with maximum possible force that can be applied. And by the way, you are also required to keep your mouth in the exact same position as asked by the dentist, whether it is a Charlie Chaplin or a Jim Carrey expression. Sadly, you just cannot get away with it.
Home, No Longer Sweet
Once back from the dentist, you want to rejoice and jump. But just then the orthodontic brush grins at you. The thing that the 'blessed' use to brush their teeth, giving at least 30 seconds to each bracket. So yeah, what you take 2 minutes to do, we spend 20 minutes doing. And after all this, you might think you will be able to enjoy that lovely red velvet cake, but then your metal sticks to the cake like icing and sticks it to you like no other has or no other ever will.
Twist in the Suffering
You might think that this is as bad as it can get. But wait till the braces accidentally detach themselves. It sure as hell is a field day for the dentist, but for us — well, some things are best left unsaid. Of course, nobody is going to admit eating food that was prohibited and that has caused the detachment at the first place.
It's Routine
The sharp metal wires not only pull your teeth together for the good but also scrape off your gums causing painful ulcers which take days to heal. The most bothersome part is that every time an ulcer gets cured a new one pops out. And that is how my friend we brace ourselves to live each day. Kudos to us!
The Day of Freedom
After all the pain you go through, comes the day when your mouth finally becomes metal free. It is a moment of sheer relief and happiness but here comes the catch, yet again. All the bliss goes in the drain when you are asked to put on these retainers. This is when you realise that you will never be free, okay get a bit emotional there but you are bound for another year and that's it.
The Perfect Smile
But after all these years of frustration and pain, you get the perfect Julia Roberts smile, making you realise that all the torture was indeed worth it because, they say, all's well that ends well.